Yo nunca...

Por ser el lugar que más habito, el nunca es mi proyecto.
Nunca adiviné el sentido lacerante de esta vida.
Nunca reconstruiré tu cuerpo con la carne de mis residuos.
Nunca amaste sin llorar entre los árboles.
Nunca llegaba la oscuridad sin una colmena de nubes y luz.
Nunca vivimos fuera de aquella oquedad que llamábamos mundo.
Nunca estuvimos tan saturados, tan perpetuamente levantados.
Nunca retrocedí, titubeé, enmudecí ante la crecida de tu espesor.
Nunca deseé tanto convertir las palabras en piedra roja.
Nunca he vivido tan devorada por la desposesión de ti y de tu fe en mí.
Nunca anhelé desatarte de mi vértigo, lo que más amé.
Nunca comprenderé la singular patria de tu mentira.

Face to you

A veces, cuando te besaba y te apretaba contra mí, expulsabas una porción de aire en forma de sonido, ley sofocada, cálida.
Ese aire que yo frente a tus labios respiraba inmediatamente, aire que ahora me falta.
Porque me ahogo como un pez volcado en tu mano.

*******

Sometimes when I kissed and clutched you against me, you expeled a portion of air as sound, stifled law, warm.
That air I immediately breathed in front of your lips, air which now I lack.
Because I am suffocating like a dump fish in your hand.

My friend Rita the Chicken Seller

Rita has realized that she doesn't fall in love with men or women, but of her own infatuation. She says it to me from the shower, with the door half-open, while I, absorbed, leaning in the sink, observe the fall of water down her body.

- Now I know why I didn't mind choosing wrong men. I didn't fall in love with them but of the situation, of the constant butterflies' flutter in the stomach, of the pressing exchange of sex and of the violence that we professed to each other. You know how I like that mixture of hatred, sex, violence and content love...

I know what she's talking about, she is stealing my discourse. She spreads the foam with her hands on her skin and smiles when she explains what I have repeated to her many times. The soap draw her curves and trickles down her legs. She realizes the delight in my eyes and invites me:

- Do you wanna come? there's enough space. Besides, you know what I'm talking about, I was just imitating the way you talk about men.

- Yes, I know. I'll go in a second... but let me enjoy this view a little more.